The Thieving Dead

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The Thieving Dead


21:15] Devushka squats next to her truck, the old radio to her left playing something that sounds like a mix between polka and a military march. Devushka hums the music quietly and sips on her vodka.

[21:15] War Princess swung in, laughing as her bike's rear tire skidded to a stop. She kicked the stand out from under her bike and stood, grinning down at the gopnik rabbit. 'Didn't expect someone to actually bring a truck in. What is it, an old Ural?' Her voice was familiar, but entirely untouched by any form of non-American accent. She sounded like she'd been born and raised in the lower Eastern coast.

[21:18] Devushka looks up at the woman. Supposedly. It was hard to tell because her one good eye was covered by her hair and there was an eyepatch where the other was supposedly. Her ears pinned back for a moment, out of annoyance...or possibly just reacting to the sudden noise of the bike, but she nods. " from old city. Before everything go boom because of broken sun or something."

[21:20] War Princess turned around, digging through her bike's saddlebags. 'Not much of anything left from there. Glad -something- got through.' She pulled a heavy duffel bag out of one of them, and began sifting through it. 'You seem like the kind to deal in goods of questionable source, and you've got an old Ural. Ex-FSB or something? Willing to trade?'

[21:22] Devushka stands up, tiltign her head at the woman. "Trade? Ural is not for sale. Unless meaning trade of something else."

[21:22] War Princess shook her head. 'Not for your truck. Can't stash a truck anywhere easily. I'm looking for small goods worth something. Food, water, that kind of thing.'

[21:25] Devushka shrugs and walks towards the back of her truck, beckoning WP to follow. "Have some goods, some weapons...also some unique items. You like dinosaur bones? How about brain? Well..pieces of brain."

[21:28] War Princess followed. 'What do you mean -brain-? You've got pieces of dinosaur brain just lying around? Anything to do with the engagement outside of the wall a while ago?'

[21:30] Devushka pulls the crates back and opens one. Surely enough, nestled among large, intact dinosaur bones are some jars labelled in russian, with pieces of flesh matter floating inside them in preservative fluids. "Bird swarms ate most of dinosaurs...but skulls were hard to get into. Devushka found some...interesting pieces after battle, though was hard to get out of skulls. Also have some whole bones, too."

[21:31] War Princess looked over the rest of the crates. '... any intact skulls? One of those hanging on my office would look wonderful.'

[21:32] Devushka hums. "None in truck...may have to check stash...not wanting to move too much around at much in case of thieves."

[21:33] War Princess gave a grin that didn't look at ALL guilty at the mention of thieves. 'Good idea. Any raptor claws? Anything else that would make a great paperweight?'

[21:34] Devushka pulls out a few of the claws, some with finger bones attached. "Some claws too...brought most of small things, along with more...portable weapons."

[21:36] War Princess looked over a few of the pieces on offer. '... I'll take some of the claws. The fingers I can take or leave.' She flicked her ears at the mention of weapons. '... what kind? Homemade, or QA tested?'

[21:37] Devushka pulls another crate forward, opening it to show some pistols, still oiled and wrapped in their paper. "Not fired, as far as Devushka knows. Got good trade from weapon dealer."

[21:38] Devushka's ear flicks behind her for a moment as if listening to something, then returns to its normal position.

[21:38] Russ Solari: At the mention of thieves, as if on cue, the ground shook. It started mildly at first, but quickly grew in intensity as the source of the disturbance became apparent. A five-meter-tall mass of flesh and bone rounded the corner ahead of the truck, snarling and wheezing all the while. It took one look at the Ural, and bellowed a challenge before stomping towards it, its single suitable grasping arm outstretched as if to seize the vehicle.

[21:40] Devushka looks around the back of her truck at the monster. She throws the bottle of vodka in her hand at the monster, with the pitch of a professional baseball player and the accuracy of a marksman. Upon impact with whatever it hits, it would shatter...and immediately burst into flames. "Devushka has shoplifters."

[21:42] War Princess looked at the pistols as they appeared. She recognized those, and they brought a smile to her face. She pointed at the one closest to her, and drew a pair of pearl necklaces from the duffel bag. Then Devushka shifted, and her own eyes tracked the monster--and the bottle that had flown through the air. She moved, slipping the duffel bag around her shoulders and zipping it up, and launched herself toward the bike she'd left on the ground. She moved faster than a human--not faster than the eye could track, but certainly faster than might be expected.

[21:46] Russ Solari: The monster was moving at a steady walk, rather than a charge- it wouldn't be difficult for War Princess to reach her bike long before it could. Devushka's firebomb exploded against the creature's form, causing it to rumble in displeasure as it continued towards the truck. At the same time, a smaller humanoid landed atop the truck, apparently having jumped from the roof. It screeched at Devushka, attempting to distract her as a trio of its fellows leaped up from over the railing beside her and from the side of the apartment building adjacent to the lot. Another trio descended from the adjacent parking structure, attempting to grapple War Princess to the ground.

[21:49] Devushka frowns, pulling a small canister out of her backpack, which immediately unfolded into a portable SMG. In a fluid motion, she fired off a short burst aimed at the face of one of the zombies. With her other hand, she stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled, sharp and clear above the din of gunfire and the creatures. "Borov! We have uninvited guests!"

[21:51] Borov: "Da." The voice rumbles up, louder even than the noise of the big red monster. It is soon overshadowed by the high-pitched whine of turbine engines. From over the ledge emerges what looks like a massive gunship, its twin turrets under its nose already winding up their charges and taking aim at the creatures approaching WP.

[21:56] War Princess reached her bike as the other trio landed on the ground nearby. Undeterred--or more focused on the larger threat--she picked up her bike by the handlebars, and with a quick twist around, hurled it at the stumbling monstrosity, roughly 50 miles per hour for a starting velocity. She turned, then, drawing a knife and a nickel-plated pistol from -somewhere-, slashing at the nearest zombie while backing up--towards the larger creature--and trying to drag him along as cover, keeping him between her and the other two that had jumped from the parking structure. She fired at the nearest that wasn't currently being attacked by a knife, the pistol loosing an impossibly loud burst, necked cartridges throwing themselves around the woman in a circle.

[22:04] Russ Solari: The burst from Devushka's SMG shreds the cranium of the zombie that leaped towards her from the building, causing it to cartwheel mid-air and land atop the nearby railing with a dull thud. The two creatures that remained attempted to lay hands upon her and drag her to the ground, with one focusing on taking her legs out from underneath her and the other attempting to direct her weapon elsewhere. WP successfully pulled her knife through the nearest runner's rib cage, causing deep red blood to seep through its clothing. The bike impacted the flesh-hulk head on, dazing it for just long enough to cause it to stop in its tracks and grab its mutilated excuse for a face in an attempt to shake off the trauma. The zombie she fired at was effectively pulped from the sternum upwards, falling backwards and making a mess on the pavement. The remaining creature closed with her, attempting to pry her weapon from her hands. Meanwhilre, the creature atop the truck slipped into the rear of the vehicle, taking hold of one of

[22:04] Russ Solari: the crates and attempting to drag it out. These things are strong- a touch above the human maximum- but lugging something that heavy meant that it no longer had the same acrobatic prowess that it once possessed.

[22:06] Devushka "CYKA BLYAT!" She shouts as one of the zombies makes her begin to lose her footing. As one of her feet comes up, she redirectes it into the knee of one of the zombies, attempting to shatter it as she tried to grab the other zombie by the head and squeeze it until its skull collapsed. Her success depended upon the durabilities of the creature, though she could notably bend reinforced I-Beams on a whim if needed...

[22:10] Borov 's cannons focused on the distracted red creature. The small plasma cannon gave what almost sounded like an MG-42 as it fired small, precise bursts into the large red one's torso and upper body. As it fired, Borov moved closer to the truck, one of his claws extending and attempting to grab the zombie rifling through the back. "DO NOT TOUCH MERCHANDISE. PLEASE FORM ORDERLY LINE AND WAIT FOR DEVUSHKA TO ASSIST YOU."

[22:11] War Princess continued her circle, the knife in her left hand cutting underneath the zombie's left arm, where the brachial artery and axillary nerve lived, still trying to spin him around with the force of her motion as she engaged the second zombie. She couldn't get a clear shot on it, but loosed a burst there, as well, aiming for its upper torso.

[22:18] Russ Solari: The zombie that had been attempting to disarm Devushka found one of its knees rendered useless, its leg bending in the wrong direction- though it maintained its grip on her weapon. The other fared slightly less well; its skull popped like a grape within seconds of the bunnybot establishing a hold, falling limp on the pavement beside her. Borov successfully managed to grab the zombie in the truck, extracting it from the vehicle with one of the crates held in its sharpened claws. It howled in rage, but could do little else without sacrificing its grip as it dangled in the air. The flesh hulk managed to regain its composure just in time, bringing its arms up to shield itself from the plasma bursts as it continued advancing; its tissues must have been hypercompacted, because it was losing far less mass to the energy weapon than it should have. WP successfully corpsed the zombie in her grip, oddly enough- who ever heard of a zombie that needed blood? She now had full control of the body, and was free to do with

[22:18] Russ Solari: it as she wished. The other zombie was quicker than its predecessor, however, rolling to the side as she fired the burst. It proceeded to come out of the roll into a leap, attempting to jump over her and establish a hold on her head in an attempt to snap her neck.

[22:21] Devushka growled, still wrestling with the zombie holding her weapon even as it fell from the busted knee. She ramped her strength servoes up to full power, and began trying to move her hand holding the machine pistol towards the zombie's head...if she managed to do so, she'd fire point blank into its eye socket. "Devushka...reserves refuse rowdy customers, blyat!"

[22:23] Borov held the zombie in the air with surprising dexterity, as its other claw reached to grab the stolen crate and wrench it out of the creature's grasp. If it managed to do so, it would then raise the claw holding the zombie, then smach it down against the pavement, like someone banging a massive gavel.

[22:23] War Princess discarded the first body. She didn't have time to hurl it at the monster behind her, but the second one was diving right for her. She pulled her gun back, closer to her, and switched her grip overhand on the knife, mouth opening wide as the thing in front of her reached for her neck. She nearly laughed at that, a smile touching her lips as her jaw opened to nearly a full 180, sextet of hypodermic fangs clicking into place. She lunged at the zombie, too, intending to bite it near its core, whether or not it managed to get a hold on her throat--and if she was successful, she'd pump a dose of her venom into it.

[22:30] Russ Solari: The zombie still contending with Devushka was doomed; it simply couldn't hold out against her superior strength. She put a bullet through its eye in short order, causing it to release her weapon and topple over onto its fallen comrade. The one hanging in the air fared only slightly better; it saw the other claw coming to retrieve the crate, and made an effort to toss it over the edge of the precipice before it. Another creature descended from the parking structure, kicking the crate further out towards no-man's-land, and using the remaining momentum to perform a spinning kick towards Dev's head. The grappled zombie was effectively at Borov's mercy; if he so chose to slam it against the ground, that would be the end of it. The zombie that had jumped over WP would have felt elation, if it were capable of such deep emotion, when it wrapped its fingers around her neck... but reeled upon being bitten, getting a full dose of her poison. The flesh hulk finally reached the truck, and used its awesome strength to

[22:30] Russ Solari: lift it off the ground, easily capable of taking far heavier weights above its head. It began to waddle towards the railing, with the back of the truck tipping ever so slightly downwards...

[22:34] Devushka was not mad. She was pissed off. As the zombie came towards her in the spinning attack, it would be like she changed gears. Moving faster than a human eye could track, she spun and attempted to grab the attacking creature by the neck, and would attemot to crush said neck like a twig. Seeing her truck lifted off the ground, she growled. "Borov! Stinger!"

[22:36] Borov would understand. He would rush forward, his claws extending to grab the truck and lift its backside so the contents would not spill out of it. As he did, he leaned back, and revealed something--which would be the heavy power railgun turret, currently rotating and staring the creature right in the eye. It was already emitting a high pitched whine, the barrel glowing ominously...and then, with an ear splitting crack that shattered nearby windows, it fired.

[22:38] War Princess was quick. She twisted back toward the large flesh-thing and, with a flick of her thumb, disengaged the pistol's interrupter. The remainder of her magazine dumped itself toward the thing's upper chest. Nothing special about the rounds used--135gr jacketed hollow point. She'd move to drop the mag and reload, still with the other zombie's hands around her throat. She twisted, head still looking up, as she tried to disengage it--enough that her neck twisted more than three-quarters of the way around, cartilaginous bone structure's flexibility keeping up with the motion. She flicked both of her legs up, the grasping claws that made up her feet trying to reach the zombie's back, intent on tearing it open.

[22:43] Russ Solari: The hooded zombies were fast. Inhumanly fast. But not Devushka fast. She managed to snag it by the neck and crush it with ease. Meanwhile, Borov's railgun was about as effective against the flesh hulk as one could expect it to be against a creature composed of biological materials; a gaping hole was punched directly through its mishappen abdomen, with organs and viscera coating the pavement behind it in an expanding triangular pattern. It heaved, stunned, and released the truck, but it somehow wasn't dead yet. WP's fusilade of .357 mag didn't really seem to cause the massive being much harm. Her claw maneuver was successful; she tore right through the raggedy clothes the creature wore, ripping into its flesh and tearing a significant chunk out. It released her and fell over, spasming in pain. At the same time, the flesh hulk reached back, took her motorbike in hand, and wound up to hurl it at Borov.

[22:46] Devushka grumbled and put away her pistol...and pulled out the massive gun on her back. Looking at WP, she shouted, "GET DOWN!" and spun the drum, aiming it at the creature's head. When she pulled the trigger, it unleashed an absolute fullisade of 20mm impact-detonated grenades, all of which were intent upon hitting the monster's face.

[22:49] Borov caught the truck and set it which point he was struck in the fuselage by a flyign motorbike. It caused him to recoil, and he caught the bike on instinct as it bounced off him, the other rubbing the massive dent in his armor where it hit. Now HE was the pissed off one. With a bestial roar that sounded more like an angry bull than his namesake. he charged forward, intending to tackle the beast to the ground after the detonation of devushka's grenades.

[22:49] War Princess didn't catch herself before she landed on the ground, face-first. Her head twisted back right-way-up as she did, and she reloaded, considering the beast before her even after the earsplitting crack of the railgun. She was, actually, halfway through reloading when Devushka yelled at her to drop. She took a step back as she turned and eyed the weapon the woman was using--and smiled, walking toward the rear of the truck. A rotary grenade launcher should work just as well with that sucking chest wound it had, she figured, and she was well out of their effective range--with the added bonus of her jacket being lined with a collection of steel plates and plates made of more exotic metals. 'Why would I drop when I could watch you shoot it?' she asked, sauntering toward the rear.

[22:51] Borov: "Ты сукин сын! Я убью тебя!"

[22:53] Russ Solari: The 20mm rounds that impacted against the flesh hulk's exterior had minimal effect, blowing chunks of meat and bone off of it. Those that landed within the gaping wound in its chest, however, caused yet more viscera and organs to be expelled. It stumbled back, grasping the massive hole in its body, gurgling through its shredded windpipe, when Borov slammed into it, crushing it into the pavement. Finally, the abused body could take no more, and laid still. The parking lot was finally absent of the sounds of the undead.

[22:55] Devushka released the mag from the massive gun and pulled another one out of her backpack, locking it in before putting the weapon back on her back. She surveyed the parking lot, sighing, trying to see if the wayward crate the zombies had grabbed was still there.

[22:57] Borov held the massive beast to the ground for a moment, his engines pulsing and flight surfaces flexing in rhythm, like somone breathing heavily from adrenaline. Slowly, it released the creature and set WP's bike down in front of her, a bit covered in gore but none the worse for wear other than the damage from it being thrown at him. "Sorry about bike." he said, mocing back to a hovering position near the truck to guard for more zombies.

[22:58] War Princess only looked around when she heard the massive thing hit the ground, pinning the flesh golem beneath it. She grinned, and practically scampered back toward the robobunny, storing her little pistol in a holster somewhere out-of-sight. She had a lazy, clearly excited grin on her face as she slid the duffel bag back around to her front. 'So... one of the pistols and a few of the bones for a pearl necklace?' she asked, as though they hadn't just fought a horde of undead.

[23:00] Russ Solari: If she looked over the railing, Devushka was going to see a final zombie attempting to make off with her crate of AKs.

[23:01] Devushka rubbed her face, accidentally smearing gore all over it, but nods. "Da...if thieves did not steal all of Devushka's guns." She looked into the truck, locating the crate of pistols. It was intact, but. "Cyka Blyat, where are Devushka's kalashnikovs?" She looked over the railing, growling when she saw the zombie running off. In a slight rage she drew her SMG and fired at it, but at this range it would be a feat indeed to hit the zombie or the crate accurately. After she expends her magazine, she sighs and reloads, turning her attention back to WP. "Pistol and raptor claws for pearl necklace?" She tilts her head. "Thinking maybe throw in some spare ammo too?"

[23:04] War Princess waved a hand somewhat dismissively. 'Don't worry about the ammunition. I can do well enough on that front by myself.' She smiled again, showing too many teeth despite the friendly gesture. 'And if you know anyone else who's interested in jewelry, let me know. I'll throw in a paper with my radio frequency on it so you can reach me.'

[23:04] Russ Solari: While they were certainly some distance away, Devushka managed to tag the creature in the shoulder, drawing a significant amount of blood. It snarled in pain, but continued its pace.

[23:07] Devushka nods. "Is good." She takes the necklace and stows it in one of the crates before closing the tailgate, smiling. "And thank you for doing business with Devushka! Please tell your friends!"

[23:09] War Princess laughed again. 'Only the best business happens out of the back of an old Ural. You may make a regular out of me yet.' She turned on her heel, dragging her claws gently along the ground, alternating the sway of her hips as she did, as though she were sharpening them on the hard floor. 'Any idea where -these- nuts came from? Not the first time I've shot at a giant flesh golem this month.'

[23:11] Devushka shakes her head, prodding at one of the corpses with her foot. "Nyet...first time Devushka saw them...never seen Zombies trying to steal guns, though...." She frowns, one of her feet thumping the ground in irritation. "Possible competitor." She says, her tail wiggling.

[23:13] War Princess shook her head. 'Probably just someone trying to arm their legions of undead. I could make a tidy profit selling to them, I'm sure...' she crossed her arms, tapping gently at her chin before moving back to the edge of the parking structure and calling out to the zombie. 'YOU HEAR ME? YOU WANT MORE OF THAT, GIVE ME A CALL AND WE CAN WORK OUT A PRICE!'

[23:14] Devushka chuckles, crossing her arms. "Devushka thinking they are customers who do not like paying. Not good business."

A business transaction interrupted by rowdy customers

Devushka calls upon the talents of her friend Borov to settle the situation

"We reserve the right to deny service to rude, disrespectful, or disruptive customers."
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